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Of course, there is no basic rule of thumb to improve communication in a family. Each family is a different world and has a unique language. However, they should exist, as a way to improve communication, will, interest, and availability, on the part of parents, so that this space is created and lived intensely, as far as possible. If what you want is a united family, the best way, the most successful way, is the communication.
1. Observe the type of communication you carry out with your child. Spend a few days of observation, free of judgment and guilt. Plugging in a recorder works great during common times of conflict or family overload. It is a healthy exercise but, at times, with conclusions difficult to accept when the harsh reality of action exceeds all ideal forecasts.
2. Listen actively and reflectively to each of your children's interventions. Evaluate to what extent they deserve priority compared to the task you are doing; In any case, our answer must be correct enough not to underestimate your need for communication.
3. Pay attention to your children's requests. If we cannot pay the necessary attention at that time, reason with him a postponement of the communicative act for later. We can simply say: give me 10 minutes and I'm with you right away. Let us remember later to thank you for your patience and your ability to wait.
4. Respond in different ways. Avoid using the same type of responses consistently so that our child does not think that we are always authoritarian, that we make him feel guilty, that we downplay things or preach.
5. Put guilt aside. If until today parents have not been a model as communicators, let us think that we can improve and adapt to a new form of communication that will revert to good for our family, softening or even extinguishing many of the habitual conflicts with children.
6. Shift or upgrade to more open communication. It is advisable to establish a test time, such as a week or a weekend, to assess whether it works or not and if we should modify something else. We parents have deep-rooted behavior habits and changing them requires effort, dedication and, above all, patience (with ourselves!).
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